The Eclipse of Haruhi Suzumiya
by Hcobb
Summary: Applying Japanese mythology to the Haruhi Suzumiya series.
1. Chapter 1

[The Haruhi Suzumiya characters are the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No infringment of his rights is intended.]

I had only been in the same freshman high school classroom as Haruhi Suzumiya for one month and she had already roped me into joining her SOS Brigade. In addition to myself, her underlings included Yuki Nagato, who had seemed to come along like a fixture of the Literature Club room that Haruhi had commandeered, and Mikuru Asahina, a buxom sophomore Haruhi had found wandering around the school.

I had taken it upon myself to protect the two girls from Haruhi's schemes. Yuki never spoke up and hadn't asserted herself at all when Haruhi stormed in to take over her clubroom. And Mikuru had only feebly complained when Haruhi dragged her into the clubroom and molested her. Mikuru had been at the verge of tears when I pulled Haruhi's hands off her. The thought of what might have happened if I wasn't there ensured that I would always attend the daily meetings.

And it wasn't just in private either. Haruhi had just used blackmail of staged photos with Mikuru to get a state-of-the-art PC. As our brigade leader tried out her newly stolen toy, I went to Mikuru, sitting on the floor, and tried to talk her into quiting the club.

Mikuru wiped away her tears, turned to me and winked. Her expression had changed in an instant. Gone was the shy, flustered and easily embarrassed seventeen year old girl. In her place was a woman of such vast confidence that it dwarfed Haruhi's bravado. Her outfit, body and face were the same, but she was not the same person at all. Where the girl Mikuru had always seemed to stumble uncertainly from place to place, this woman sat with a calm composure that waited like a coiled spring, ready at any moment to leap into the most intricate of dances.

"Kyon!"

This woman Mikuru nodded towards the desk where Haruhi had called from, and then slumped forwards, once again the trembling girl-child.

As I walked to Haruhi's side, I considered what had just happened. I must have imagined it all. People do not change that much in a lifetime, much less a instant. I looked over Haruhi's shoulder at the computer screen, "Yes, what is it?"

"Make a webpage for the SOS Brigade, while I go search for the remaining members."

Yes, she had said something about needing a mysterious transfer student. I took the seat she had vacated, and took a moment to look at Mikuru before starting on the project.

Mikuru waited for Haruhi to close the door after herself, then shifted again to that amazing woman as she looked up. She rose on one foot, spun ninety degrees with inhuman grace and bowed towards me, or perhaps towards Yuki, who still sat in the corner reading a book.

I could not hope to look away as this all-woman Mikuru turned and walked to the door. Every tiny movement of hers seemed to strike directly at my libido. And then she stopped and waited for my gaze to travel slowly up from her backside to her face, which was half turned towards me.

Again she winked at me, her message clear. She had played me like a musical instrument. We both knew that she had the complete advantage over me, anytime she wished. Then she turned again to the door, slumped in on herself, and grasped the door handle with infinite uncertainty.

I stared at the door for half a minute after she had closed it behind herself and shuffled off. Then I turned to Yuki and asked, "Did you see that?"

"No," Yuki turned the page of the book in her lap and continued reading, "I saw nothing."

That night my dreams were haunted by that strange woman Mikuru had suddenly become and then un-become as quickly. She wore a thousand different faces, but each time she had that same inhuman grace. I saw her in a thousand different outfits and as often in none at all. She danced, we danced together and in the end we did other things. Finally she turned to me and said, "Kyon, we can meet together if you like. But she must never know."

"Know what?"

"Kyon!"

"What?"

"Kyon! Wake up, it's morning!" My little sister pulled me and my blankets off my bed, then she turned and ran from my room, "Mom! Kyon's wet the bed again."

It wasn't urine. I showered and dressed then gathered up my blanket, sheets and pajamas and put them all in the clothes washer and started it up before leaving for school.

I spent the lunch period in the clubroom, working on the website while reading a book on web design. Had the stress of putting up with Haruhi gotten to me? I found it hard to focus on the screen as my thoughts drifted to the woman concealed within Mikuru. I hungered to see her again, but what could I say that wouldn't make me sound like a total freak?

The bell for the next class rang and I saved the file, with hardly anything done on it. I saw movement from the corner of my eye and turned to Yuki. She always sat quietly reading so I had paid no attention to her at all, especially today with dreams of that woman Mikuru dancing through my head.

Yuki had closed her book and was writing a note on a bookmark. Then she stood and presented the bookmark to me with both hands.

I reached out to take the bookmark and my hand brushed against hers. Then I reached up with both hands to grasp hers, "Yuki, you're so cold, like ice. Sitting all the time must be murder on your circulation."

She stood there for a moment, closed her eyes and sighed. Then she slowly withdrew her hands from mine to fold them against her thin chest. She looked at me with hurt, fright and perhaps a small blush, which quickly faded to her usual expressionless face. "Excuse me please." She bowed ever so slightly to me and walked to the door. She stopped at the door and without turning said, "Seven p.m.". Then she left.

I glanced at the bookmark. All that was written there was an address and what might have been a room number, 708.

That afternoon I found Yuki and Mikuru waiting in the clubroom. Mikuru asked me politely and timidly if Haruhi was with me, and then shifted to her woman persona when I said I hadn't seen our dear leader since the last school period.

I frowned at Mikuru, "Is there some strain in pretending to be human?"

"Oh, I don't know. Does it show?" Mikuru stretched in her chair in the most amazing way then waited for me to close my mouth and look back up at her face before smiling at me.

I sat down across the table from her, as close as I dared, "And what was that yesterday with the PC club and before when Haruhi first dragged you in here to molest you. Didn't that bother you at all?"

"Oh you poor little boy," Mikuru leaned over the table to play with my hair, "Don't worry about me. I'm the professional."

I sat there unmoving. I knew her claim to be only one year older than myself was a lie. It was a damn lie. But I suspected, like most women, that she would never admit to her true age.

"Yah-Hoo!" Haruhi burst through the door without knocking.

I glanced over at Mikuru, who had returned to her seat in an instant, and was once again that timid insecure girl.

Haruhi had brought some printed fliers and a bunny suit for Mikuru to wear.

I sat there and stared at Mikuru's artfully feeble struggles as Haruhi stripped her. Mikuru complained at every step and yet her motions never really got in Haruhi's way. How could she time things so well? Surely the two of them hadn't practiced this routine a thousand times before?

Then I saw Mikuru wink at me and I fled the room.

A few minutes later Haruhi opened the door. I saw that she and Mikuru were both dressed like Playboy bunnies. Mikuru was hunched over and trying to cover herself with her arms, while Haruhi presented herself, hand on hip. Yuki hadn't moved or changed at all of course.

Haruhi hopped off to distribute the fliers with Mikuru in tow behind her. As Mikuru was pulled along backwards I couldn't help but look down at her feet. Every step was made just in time to keep her own balance and to keep from unbalancing Haruhi, even as they went down the stairs.

The two girls didn't last long at the front gate of the school before being dragged off to the school office. I waited in the clubroom with Yuki for their return.

Mikuru was sobbing when they came back. I found myself wondering if this act was to make it impossible for the facility to keep them long, so as to spare Haruhi.

I barely made it out of the clubroom as Haruhi started to strip. Mikuru's sobs continued until after Haruhi walked away in her school uniform. A few minutes later Mikuru emerged in her own school uniform, glanced both ways to see that we were alone, and then she did that walk again. She didn't look back as she walked away. She didn't need to. She knew exactly were the gaze of any man, or for that matter, any boy older than twelve would be. With a talent like that she could have anything that men would gladly offer her, including their very souls. What was she doing here, pretending to be a high school student? What was Haruhi to her?

As I walked home I put my hands in my pockets and pulled out the folded bookmark. Back at my house I looked up the location online then snuck out after supper.

My sister had heard me pass her room and came out, "Where are you going Kyon?"

"I forgot something. I'll be back in a bit."

The address turned out to be an apartment building. At the intercom I punched in the room code and said "Hi, I'm here." The intercom clicked off and the door opened. I took the elevator up to the seventh floor and rang the doorbell for apartment 708.

Yuki opened the door and then backed away. I followed her in and noticed that she kept her distance. Yes, that was my fault. I had touched her today without permission. So why did she invite me to her apartment?

"Where is your family?" I asked as I removed my shoes.

"The mountains." She walked into the room.

"So you live here all alone?" I followed her, at a respectful distance.

"Yes." Yuki stood to the side in her living room.

Her living room had just a kotatsu and not even drapes for the patio doors. She motioned for me to sit at the kotatsu, then she went into an adjoining room and returned with a tea tray. I watched how she carefully stayed out of my reach as she poured a cup of tea for me. If she was so afraid that I would attack her at any moment then why invite me to visit her alone? I pondered the question as I drank the tea.

"Are you injured?" Yuki spoke down at the table.

"What?" I looked over to where she sat.

"From today." She moved her gaze up to my hands.

"What do you mean?" I shrugged.

"My apologies for today. It was inexcusable. There is little that I can offer you. My body would be inadvisable, but you may look at it if you wish," She stood and started to take off the jacket of her school uniform.

"Wait. What? Stop!" I held up my hands.

"My apologies again. My body is not as beguiling as those of my older sisters."

"What is this all about?"

Yuki looked down at the floor. "My master has a message for you. It is that his sister must not awaken, for her condition is delicate. I would advise you to not upset him. My master has a notable temper."

"By your master's sister, do you mean Mikuru?"

"No, the situation involves Haruhi Suzumiya."

"There's nothing delicate about her, or the inner Mikuru for that matter. And if there is anybody in this world who really needs to wake up and smell the coffee, it's Haruhi." I stood and walked over to her.

"My master has his reasons." Yuki backed up a step.

"Enough of that crap. Whoever this master is, just let me know the details. I can get you free from whatever it is, because you have rights as a human being." I reached out towards her and then stopped myself and let my arms drop to my sides.

Yuki glanced at my sudden motion in fright, then dropped her gaze back to the floor when she saw I wasn't getting any closer. "You cannot, for I am not. Please remember what I have said and keep it a secret. It would be best if you kept Mikuru Asahina's secret as well."

-HJC


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning when my sister yanked me off my bed, I awoke without remembering my dreams and also without evidence of nocturnal emissions. Whatever had possessed me the previous night seemed to have passed. I was probably just letting my teenage hormones run away with myself. So what if Mikuru Asahina was a little eccentric? Even her play acting to pretend to be a high school student was nothing compared to Haruhi Suzumiya's padded wall to padded wall style insanity.

On my walk up the hill to school my thoughts turned to the third new girl in my life, the shy tiny bookworm known as Yuki Nagato. What had she meant by that warning from her master, who was Haruhi's brother?

"Hey Kyon!"

"Morning Taniguchi," I turned and stopped to let my classmate catch up with me. Then I remembered that he had attended junior high with Haruhi and had therefore known her for a few years. I walked alongside him for a moment then asked, "What's Miss Suzumiya's brother like?"

"What brother? As far as I know she's an only child."

"Oh," That explained it then. Haruhi's older brother must have already been in the Yakuza when she was in junior high and so would have been unmentionable. She had developed her schizophrenia in response to the strain and the shame. And now her brother is a Yakuza boss who has sent Yuki and perhaps Mikuru to keep tabs on her.

"What is it Kyon?" Taniguchi kept watching me as we walked along.

"Sorry, it's my mistake. I got things mixed up." I had to keep Taniguchi out of this mess. It would be best to slowly back away from the situation myself. Even if I had no concern for my own life, I never wanted to see my sister or parents lying in pools of their own blood.

Fate was of course not so kind.

"He's here!" Haruhi leaned over her desk from behind me.

I didn't want to respond, but I didn't want her to grab me by the collar and bang my head against her desk again either. I turned in my chair to see her beaming face, "Who is here?"

"The mysterious transfer student!"

"What makes him so mysterious?"

"Weren't you listening the first time I explained this? Anybody who transfers so early in the semester must be mysterious!"

"As you say." I forced down my urge to make a fruitless attempt to talk common sense into Haruhi. My family was at stake after all.

Haruhi seemed taken aback by my minimal response and after a moment's pause rose from her seat. "I'll go look!" She ran from the classroom.

I imagined what kind of new student it would be, who would agree to join the club of a mad girl. Probably an associate of her brother's, all covered with scars and tattoos.

"What did you say to her?" Ryoko Asakura, our lovely classroom representative, walked over to my desk.

"Nothing, but you saw her. She seemed happy."

"Well, as long as she sleeps peacefully."

I frowned as Ryoko walked back to her circle of friends. I could not imagine Haruhi sleeping peacefully. It seemed all she could manage to stay in her seat during classes. And that she was able to stay seated was the only thing that kept me from concluding that she was on crack, or some other powerful stimulant.

Doubt gnawed at my ankles every step to the clubroom. Even if Mikuru was a professional call girl, Yuki was clearly out of her depth. As I climbed the steps I imagined my sister's dead body if I continued with this charade and Yuki's dead body if I didn't. In any case the only dangers to Haruhi came from her own insanity and her brother's connections, and I couldn't do anything about either of those.

As I entered the clubroom I saw that the only people there were Yuki, reading by the window, and Mikuru, seated at the table.

"The coast is clear," I sat down across from Mikuru, "Haruhi isn't with me."

Mikuru relaxed into her professional persona then smiled when my gaze finally returned to her face.

I turned away to look towards the window. "Yuki reads, but you just sit there. Don't you get bored?"

"The majority of my attention is elsewhere."

Another riddle from Mikuru. I turned back to her, "Well I get bored. Do you play games?"

"But of course. However, what should we do when Haruhi suddenly arrives? That might be quite a shock to her. Wouldn't it be safer to go to a hotel after club hours?"

"No, I meant a board game," I stood and grabbed a box that I had added to the shelves. "Here, do you know Othello?"

"I helped with the choreography, but yes I do know the board game."

We played a game and Mikuru easily beat me. It wasn't fair, the way she'd draw my glance to her body and hold it there like a fly in a spider's web. My concentration was all shot.

"You win," I started putting away the pieces, "I'm no match for you in any way," I noticed the fainest hint of motion to my right and turned.

Yuki was standing there and looking down at the board. "May I play?"

"Sure, take my spot," I rose and indicated the chair. Yuki bowed at Mikuru then carefully avoided me as she sat down.

Yuki's first move was to place a piece that was not connected to any of the starting pieces.

Mikuru raised an eyebrow at this. "I thought your sisters were experts in this game, from years of practice?

"I am almost always by myself."

"Are they jealous of your master's attentions?" Mikuru asked.

"I have only done what I have been told." Yuki read through the booklet that came with the game, and then made a proper move.

After a few minutes of play I leaned over to suggest a better move for Yuki, and she flinched back away from me. At that moment I resolved to stay by Haruhi's side until I had the opportunity to find and destroy her brother. Threatening my family was one thing, but whatever had been done to traumatize Yuki was unforgivable.

Haruhi burst in with her mysterious transfer student in tow, a freshman boy named Itsuki Koizumi. In spite of this being his first day in school he had the proper uniform already, and unlike most boys at the school had his collar buttoned and his tie in place. Most likely to minimize the amount of uninked skin he had to show, I suspected. She said that he had already agreed to join the club and he responded by asking what the club was about. She gave her spiel about finding aliens, time travelers and espers, and he took it all in stride. He bowed to Mikuru then turned to shake my hand.

Haruhi interrupted my attempt to introduce myself by calling me by the Kyon knickname that everybody used, and gave out the names for the other brigade members.

Mikuru tripped as she rose from her chair and caught herself on the table with an artful jiggle. I pulled my glance away to look at Itsuki's face which remained in that pleasant smile, with his eyes mostly closed. He was either gay or a very cool customer indeed.

Itsuki shook Mikuru's hand, but did not turn to Yuki, who stood and returned to her seat by the window.

Haruhi was so delighted with a full roster, that she didn't notice how Yuki shuned the new arrival.

The next day I walked into the clubroom and saw Haruhi stripping Mikuru again. I quickly excused myself and bolted back out through the door.

When I was invited back in a few minutes later I saw that Haruhi had dressed Mikuru in a maid's outfit. For a moment I almost believed Mikuru's blush.

Haruhi took out her camera and started taking pictures of Mikuru, then concerned that the outfit covered too much, handed the camera to me, so that she could adjust the maid's outfit to show more of Mikuru's cleavage.

I took photos mechanically, my mind set on my plan to avenge Yuki's mistreatment. I idly wondered how old Mikuru would have to be to have such a figure, and how much of it was natural.

Yuki froze rather than flinching back, as Haruhi reached over to snatch away her glasses, then returned to reading without even adjusting her posture. Perhaps it was only the threat of the male touch that so horrified her?

Haruhi was so delighted to play with her doll of a maid, as she put the glasses on Mikuru, that she paid no attention to Yuki's lack of reaction or the sour expression I'm sure I must have worn at that moment.

Itsuki entered at that point, and Haruhi asked everybody to play with Mikuru.

Itsuki turned down the offer and took a seat. I pointed out that I was busy with the camera. Yuki simply continued to read her book.

Haruhi said that was enough photos for the day and took the camera from me, then put the glasses back on Yuki's face.

Yuki froze again then readjusted the glasses once Haruhi had moved on.

Haruhi demonstrated once again her total lack of common sense, as she stood on the swivel chair behind the computer so she could look over the monitor at us all. She noted our so called successes of putting up our minimal webpage and the aborted attempt to pass out fliers. Then she complained about the lack of emails or student contacts with proper mysteries, and said that we'd set out to search for the mysteries. The next day was a Saturday and so we were to all meet at the train station or face the death sentence.

I was the last one to arrive at the station, and so even though I was five minutes before the deadline Haruhi had imposed, I still had to treat the group at the local cafe. Yuki was seated on the bench next to Haruhi, but far enough away so that I had to go get a chair from another empty table nearby to have a seat. I noticed that Yuki was the only one dressed in a school outfit. Didn't she have anything else, or was she just given what was needed for her mission?

Haruhi had us draw toothpicks to split into two groups of one pair and a threespme to search the city. She noticed with a frown that Yuki and I had drawn the two colored toothpicks.

Haruhi took a moment to warn me before our two groups split, "This is not a date Kyon. If you have fun with her then you will die!"

Far from being the date Haruhi had warned about, Yuki kept always just out of arms length as we walked along. I briefly considered asking her about this master she so feared, but settled on a question about what I knew of her interests, in order to break the ice so to speak. "You read a lot of books?"

"Yes." She keep her eyes on the sidewalk in front of her.

"I bet you've read almost all the books in our clubroom by now."

"I have."

"What will you do then?"

She finally looked up at me. "I don't know. I miss the books I left at home when I was sent to attend this school."

"So you have a lot of books at your old house?"

Yuki looked back down at the sidewalk. "I was alone most of the time, but sometimes travelers would leave behind books."

"Well, why don't you check books out of the library?"

"The library?" She looked up, puzzled.

"This way," I reached for her hand and she backed up a step, wide eyed behind her glasses. I had done it again. I knew she was frightened of being touched and I had reached out by reflex. "My apologies, just follow me."

"Yes, I'm sorry."

"Ta da!" I held open the door of the library for her and she went inside, keeping well clear of me.

She stopped a few steps inside the building and looked around with mouth agape.

"What do you think?" I walked up next to her, but kept the same distance she had used.

"There's so many. Where do I start?"

"You're new to this town, right?"

"Yes."

"So why not a book about the local region?" I walked towards the section and she followed, at her usual distance behind me.

I pointed out one book, and she took it to a nearby table to read it.

She seemed lost in her reading as usual, so I acted on something that I had remembered her mentioning at her apartment.

"Your home is in the mountains?"

She looked up at the book I had brought back, "Yes. What is it?"

"It's a picture book of the mountains of Japan."

She reached out a hand halfway towards the book, and then withdrew it.

I placed the book where she could reach it and backed up two steps.

She opened the book and rapidly flipped through the pages, stopping to almost smile at different pages. Then she looked up and said, "Thank you." Then she looked back down at the book and skimmed through the pages.

My ploy had failed. I had expected her to look up her home in the table of contents or index, and skip directly to that page. Instead she was stopping at pictures of mountains all along the length of the nation. She couldn't have lived on every mountain in Japan, so she must just like looking at terrain photos.

"There's a limit of three books per person."

"What?" She looked up to where I pointed at the three books that she had added to the two I had selected.

"I've got one slot free on my library card, so just select one of the two books I picked for my check out, and you can check out your three."

She looked at the five books for a moment then picked up one of the three she had selected, walked over to the shelves and slid in back into place. She returned to the table, put the picture book on top of her other two selections and slid my first selection in my direction, "You check out that one please."

"And you'll need a library card," I picked up the book, "follow me."

I waited in line for the librarian as Yuki sat and filled out the form. My cellphone rang so I answered it, "Hello Miss Suzumiya."

"Where are you, Kyon?"

"Doing research."

"Get back to the station right now!"

"Oh, did you find something mysterious?"

I could hear Haruhi fuming, but she didn't say anything.

"Then we'll return to the station as soon as we can. And guess what, it'll be the team that didn't do anything useful that will be the late team." I hung up before she could respond to that.

Haruhi was standing with arms crossed and foot taping, as I walked up with Yuki behind me. Haruhi pointed at me and asked, "So what is this mystery you found?"

"We did better than that," I indicated the three books I carried, but I didn't mention the picture book that Yuki was almost hidden behind that she was still so absorbed in.

At the fast food restaurant Haruhi made me pay anyway, and then glanced through the three books I had carried. She put the books down and said to me, "There's no mysteries here."

"How will you know when a true mystery appears?" I asked her.

"When something unusual happens that has no normal explanation."

"And how can you find the unusual if you don't know what the usual is?"

"Well, that's just common sense." Haruhi folded her arms.

"If it was that easy then everybody would have spotted it already, wouldn't they? We need a firm baseline of the known knowns so we can spot the unknown unknowns."

"Very well. Apology accepted. You can live. Now let's split up into teams of three and two again."

"No."

"Are you questioning my orders, underling?"

"You just admitted that the research is useful. So send Yuki to read her books and then the remaining four of us can search in pairs."

"Your suggestion is acceptable. Yuki," Haruhi turned to the shorter girl, "I want a full report by Monday of anything you find that is a known mystery in these books."

"Understood."

"Yuki," I turned to her, "Are you sure you can carry all those books? I can drop some of them over at your place later."

"No!" Yuki snatched the books to herself, "I can carry all these," She rose up from the table and I moved out of the way to give her plenty of room to pass. She walked out the door with the three reference books under her left arm and the huge picture book carried open in her right hand, using her thumb to flip the pages.

I hoped she didn't get run over while crossing the streets like that.

"How do you know where she lives?" Haruhi had her fingers curled on the edge of the table.

"I helped her fill out a form for a library card. Now let's split up again." I was ready this time to go one on one with any of the three, even Mikuru. Not in that way, but in terms of lines of questioning that would move me closer to my goal.

I hit the jackpot.

"This isn't a date you two," Haruhi told Mikuru and Itsuki, "I expect a full report when we get back here in two hours!" Then she put her arm through mine and lead me off.

Walking arm in arm with a girl, was I'm afraid a rather unusual situation for me to be in, outside of a few times in junior high. I decided to start on my line of questioning, "So how was the search this morning?"

"Horrible! There were dogs barking all over the place. This is a terrible neighborhood."

Which opened things up brilliantly for my real question, or so I thought. "What's your brother like?"

"Brother? That's a stupid question. I'm an only child. Didn't I tell you that?"

"No, you hadn't," So he had left either before you were born or when you were too young to remember, never to be mentioned again. I upped my estimate of her brother's age.

"Very well then. If you want to know so much about my family let me tell you about the event that launched my path to greatness." Haruhi told me of how she had attended a baseball game in her youth. This had lead her towards an understanding of how many people there were in the world, and therefore what it would take for her name to be famous.

Infamous was more like it I thought. I kept feeding her questions about her life and her family and fortunately she was such an egotist that she never once asked about mine. Did she even remember what my real name was? Better if she didn't.

Finally we ended up on a hilltop facing west.

"The sunset," She stared directly into the sun without protection. As usual the girl had no common sense. "It always leaves me with a mixed feeling," she continued, "Fond memories and a strange sense of emptiness. Like there's something I've forgotten," She turned to me, placed her hands on my shoulders and started to lean up on her toes to reach my face.

My phone rang.

Haruhi backed away as I pulled out my phone and opened it.

"Kyon!" It was my little sister, "Where are you? Did you get in trouble again?"

"Sorry, I'll be right home."

"Kyon you idiot!" Haruhi poked me in the chest, "How dare you make me forget what time it is!" She pulled out her phone and hit a speed dial, "Koizumi! Are you still with Mikuru? Just go home then. I got sidetracked and it's all stupid Kyon's fault. I'll see you two Monday at the clubroom. Brigade leader out."

For a moment I was almost jealous. She had just met him and she already had his number on her cellphone. Wait, had I just almost kissed her? How suicidal was I? I thanked whatever guardian angel it was, that had made my sister save her own life by calling me just then.

When I returned to the station I found my bicycle had been towed.


	3. Chapter 3

On Monday morning I found Haruhi Suzumiya face down on her desk, with Ryoko Asakura, our lovely classroom representative, standing next to her.

Ryoko turned and asked me, "I wonder what happened to her?" Then she walked away to her own desk.

Had I seen an accusation in her eyes? Or was it just concern for a classmate? I watched the sway of Ryoko's backside for a moment, then turned to my own desk. It was just my imagination running away with me again. Sure, it's my fault that the Yakuza princess was feeling down. That's fine. Just leave my family out of it. I thanked whatever gods there were for giving me an easy way out of a deadly situation as I took my seat.

"I made up for your trickery yesterday."

Okay, I wasn't going to get off that easily. I turned in my seat and asked Haruhi, "What?"

"I searched the area we two were supposed to have covered, by myself on Sunday." Haruhi still rested her head on her hands, but had turned to look out the window.

Oh, that. "And what mysteries did you find?"

"Nothing! It's like everybody is keeping it all just out of my grasp."

"So it didn't matter what we did on Saturday, after all."

"I apologize for my madness." She finally turned her head to face me, but remained slumped over her desk.

"What? Well, they say that the first step is to admit that you have a problem."

"Even I suffer sometimes from the madness of love. It's just a chemical imbalance in our biological brains."

You're the one who's chemically unbalanced, I thought, but said nothing.

"Don't worry," Haruhi straighted up in her seat and pointed at me. "I see you for what you are now. Just another ordinary lying cheating human male. Well buster, you can take your little one track mind and move on to the next station. Because I don't want to see anymore of that kind of behavior when you are engaged in SOS Brigade activities."

So I wasn't going to be kicked out of the club after all. I may have sighed as I saw my hopes dashed once again.

"Now we have the full roster of character types," She continued, "I'm the leader, and we've got moe, shy glasses girl, mysterious transfer student, and idiotic comedy relief mascot." She counted these off on her fingers.

I didn't have to ask which role she had for me.

"Now we just need some flashy event to happen, call us forwards and make our moment of greatness. Why won't it happen?" She returned to her face down posture.

I considered for a moment getting a photograph of myself printed out life sized, gluing it to a cardboard stand and placing it in the clubroom so that Haruhi could have many hours of enjoyment and or therapy by relating her mad schemes to it, without bothering another soul. Well, Yuki would probably be sitting there and trying to read all that time. No point in curing one girl, just to drive another insane.

"Is that what you need?"

I jumped in my seat. I had been so intent on Haruhi's rant that I hadn't even noticed that Ryoko had returned to stand next to us.

"Some unfathomable mystery to arrive without warning?" Ryoko continued, "Wouldn't that be interesting!" She smiled and walked back to her desk.

At lunchtime Haruhi returned to her face down sulk so I took my lunch and rose from my seat.

She grabbed onto my sleeve, and asked, "Where are you going?"

"To the clubroom. I need to work on our web site."

"Oh!" She looked up, "I put the Mikuru maid photos on the computer. Upload those to the web page."

Like hell I would. The last thing we needed was to have some of Mikuru's former clients sniffing around the school.

At the clubroom I noticed that Yuki was in her usual spot reading by the window. I said "Hi" and she even looked up for a moment before returning to her reading. Did she ever eat anything? I remembered how on Saturday she had first ordered just ice water until Haruhi had prodded her and then she had taken iced tea, without sugar or lemon. No wonder she was so thin and short that she could have passed for a first year junior high student three years her junior. It seemed strange that she'd be put under social pressure to adopt an extreme diet when she never went out anyplace where society could influence her.

I turned on the computer and waited for it to boot.

"How does that work?"

I looked up. Yuki had put down her book and was standing next to me.

"Don't you know how to use a computer?" I asked her.

"No." She shook her head ever so slightly.

"What, did you spend your whole life in a cave?"

"Yes," She replied without a trace of humor or irony.

"Those bastards!" I had almost forgotten Yuki's secret master, Haruhi's hidden brother, the Yakuza boss.

Yuki backed up a step.

"It's not your fault," I rose and pointed to the swivel seat in front of the computer, "Sit here."

Yuki stood where she was so I took a step back and then she sat down in front of the computer.

"Now take hold of the mouse."

She looked under the desk, "There are no mice here."

I talked Yuki through basic computer operation and even got her to a search engine web page. "Now click in that box and type in a search string."

Yuki looked around the desk, "Where is the string?"

"Just type in a word or phrase that you'd like more information on, then press the enter key there to submit the form."

She typed in "Kyon" and hit Enter.

The results that came up had absolutely nothing to do with myself of course. I suggested that she click on the first link, which was a company website, and read that page.

Satisfied that she had the basic operation down I sat down next to her and opened my lunch. "Can I offer you something to eat?"

"No." Yuki continued to read the computer screen, but perhaps she had a slight nervous twitch.

Okay that's fine, I told myself. I resolved to come by every lunch period, and have food nearby for her, without pressure. At some point she'd relax and partake.

That afternoon Haruhi reviewed the reports from Saturday. Yuki made a brief presentation of the history of our city. After the club meeting I went down to change into my street shoes and found a note in my locker. I pocketed it before anybody could notice and reviewed it in my room at home.

The note said only, "Meet me in front of the school at eight p.m. tonight," and was unsigned, except for a cutesy heart.

It wasn't Yuki's careful handwriting or the kind of note Haruhi would make where she'd start on one topic then come back and put completely tangential comments in the margins. That left either Mikuru or possibly Itsuki, if he was gay. It didn't matter, I had questions to ask either of them.

I tried to sneak out, but my sister had planned her ambush too well, "Are you going on another date Kyon?"

"None of your business."

"What's his name?"

I left with the silent resolve to check the kinds of manga she read, and report the offending titles to our parents.

I reviewed the questions I would ask either member of the mysterious pair as I walked up the hill to school. Then I stopped.

Ryoko was standing in front of the locked school gates.

"Hi," I pulled the note out of my pocket, "Is this from you?"

She walked up and took the note from my hand, "Why yes it is," She threw her arms around me, "I'm so happy that you came here."

I had been comfortable a moment earlier and suddenly I was freezing.

"Wh-what's going on?" I could hear my teeth chattering.

"Enough of that now." Ryoko leaned up to kiss me and my entire mouth just went numb. She started rubbing against me. "Oh yeah, that's the good stuff." She almost purred that out as she blushed.

The sharp edge of the cold was fading into a general numbness. I was finding it difficult to breathe through my nose, and my mouth wouldn't open at all.

"Now, let's go someplace more private and finish this. If that's okay with you, Dear." Ryoko hoisted me like a frozen turkey under her left arm. Then she ran forwards and jumped up to vault off the top of the school gate with her right hand. In midair she shifted her grip to hold me in front of her body with both hands. She landed inside the schoolyard with knees slightly bent.

"Big sister!" I caught a glimpse of Yuki squeezing through the bars of the school gate. She was probably the only person in our school who was thin enough to do that and she had to take her glasses off to fit her head through.

"What is it, little Yuki?" Ryoko turned towards the smaller girl and lifted me up like a platter, "As you can see I'm having dinner now. Can't it wait?"

Yuki finally wiggled through the bars, "No, don't kill him! Master will be angry."

"Perhaps you're right." Ryoko dropped me onto my back, like a sack of potatoes. "I shouldn't kill him after all."

"Kyon!" Yuki ran towards me, but was stopped when Ryoko grabbed her arm. Yuki turned to the taller girl and asked, "What?"

Ryoko grabbed both of Yuki's arms behind her back and then threw her to the ground. She placed her left knee on the Yuki's back as she pulled out a large roll of silver duct tape. Where had she been hiding that? Ryoko proceeded to tape Yuki's arms together behind her back, and then taped Yuki's legs together.

"Big sister!" Yuki had tried to struggle, but was clearly outmatched, "What are you doing?"

"Poor thing." Ryoko picked up the hogtied girl. "Not only are you so thin, but you're obviously starving. It's time you had a nice full meal."

Yuki looked at how she was being carried towards me. "Big sister, no!"

I still couldn't move, but I felt a tingling all over as my circulation started up again.

"Now, now, don't eat with your mouth open," Ryoko put Yuki down for a moment so she could tape her mouth shut. Then she picked up the smaller girl and dropped her on top of me.

The cold returned even stronger than before.

Ryoko lifted our heads up a bit so she could tape our necks together, as she said, "But our master could never stay angry at his dear sweet little Yuki. Now could he?"

I couldn't even feel my cheek that was pressed up against Yuki's, but I could see her crying. Strangely instead of teardrops, she cried snowflakes.

"I'll leave you two to get comfortable together." Ryoko left the duct tape roll on the ground and stood. "Now Yuki, I suggest you take this time to practice what you'll say when they find you tomorrow morning. As for myself I think I'll go with: But Master, I had no idea that you'd send Yuki on a mission to the humans without first training her on how to control her hunger."

Wack!

"Ow!" Ryoko stumbled to the side and raised her hand to touch her cheek where she'd just been kicked. Then she turned to her assailant. "How dare you mark the face of a pure innocent maiden!"

"Don't blame your virginity on me, little girl." Mikuru took a step towards Ryoko. Her pose was as graceful as a ballerina and as deadly as a ninja. "You've had many decades alone with cold stiffs in the mountains."

"I don't play with my food." Ryoko backed away from Mikuru. "Are you sure you have time to finish me off? My hostage over there won't last very long."

"Why should I bother? Your master owes me very much indeed, and anything I could think of doing to you would be a thousand times kinder than his slightest whim. You'd best start running now, little girl."

"I'll be back." Ryoko crossed her arms in front of herself. She was covered by a sudden snow flurry, and then she was gone.

Mikuru pulled out a tanto from a lacquered wooden sheath. It looked like either a museum piece or a very good replica. Was every girl carrying a large invisible purse tonight? She bent down and cut the tape that bound me to Yuki, then tossed Yuki a meter away from me.

Mikuru stood and looked down at me, "Are you going to survive?"

I tried to say so, but couldn't force words through my frozen throat, so simply nodded.

Mikuru moved over and cut Yuki's bonds.

Yuki flexed her limbs for a moment then knelled towards me with her face to the ground and sobbed out some more snowflakes. "I'm so sorry, so very sorry."

"Shall I destroy this monster?" Mikuru held her knife over Yuki's neck.

"Yes please. I have failed." Yuki kept her face to the ground.

"No!" My throat ached as I forced the word out.

"How many human beings have you killed?" Mikuru asked Yuki.

"Twenty three. Eighteen men, three women, a boy, and a girl."

"That's not nearly enough to sustain you for fifty years." Mikuru looked Yuki over. "You're thin, but not that thin."

"I mostly lived on animals. I only went down the mountain when the hunger was too much to bear."

"Including foxes?"

"Yes. Please kill me now. As you say, my master shall forgive you."

"No wonder Itsuki fears you." Mikuru turned to me. "You heard her. Shall I grant her fondest wish?"

"No, let her live." I could just start to feel life returning to my limbs.

"Ryoko wasn't lying. Yuki is starving. I'm amazed she hasn't feasted on anyone in this town of yours. If we leave her like this, she's sure to faint and then some poor passerby will bend down to check on her. Are you prepared for the consequences of that?"

"Is there no other way?"

"Yes there is. I do this as a personal favor for you, little boy, and I never forget my favors. See to it that you do not forget either." Mikuru put her tanto back in its sheath and it vanished. She picked Yuki up by the shoulders and kissed her.

I could see Yuki's cheek bulge out as Mikuru worked her tongue in. Then Yuki put her arms around Mikuru's waist and closed her eyes.

Taniguchi was standing outside the school gate and staring at the two girls. He saw me looking at him, then he turned and walked away saying, "I saw nothing, nothing."

Mikuru had kept her eyes open during the kiss and studied Yuki. When Yuki started to blush, Mikuru broke the kiss off and asked her, "Are you still hungry?"

Yuki looked up into her eyes. "No, Mistress."

"You are to tell me when you do feel hungry again. Do you understand, little girl?"

"Yes, Mistress."

If Mikuru thought Yuki was fifty and that still made her a little girl, then how old must she herself be?

Mikuru bent down to pick me up. "Are you okay, Kyon?"

"I will be. Why weren't you affected by the cold?"

"I have danced naked in the snow of the coldest darkest night of the coldest darkest winter there ever was. This is nothing. The problem is to not overdo it or she'd swell up and pop like a bubble before I even notice any drain." Mikuru turned to Yuki. "You dropped your glasses by the gate."

"Thank you, Mistress." Yuki bowed to her, walked back over to the gate and picked them up.

"If you don't need them to read and you can see them plainly in this darkness then why do you need glasses?" I asked Yuki.

"My master said that they would allow me to blend in better with the humans."

"I think you look cuter without them." I half hopped along with Mikuru's support, my limbs attacked by countless invisible pins and needles.

"As you wish." Yuki walked over and dropped her glasses in the trashcan.

"Your master is not human?" I tried to feel my toes.

"He is now, Master."

Mikuru nudged me, "Order her not to call you that, ever. Please."

"Yuki, call me Kyon."

"As you wish, Kyon."

"About that bit earlier. You aren't intending to run off and kill yourself the moment we're not looking, are you?"

"No Kyon, I will take good care of your property."

"Property?"

"My life no longer belongs to my previous master. It is yours now, Kyon. I will not discard it against your wishes or interests. Correct, Mistress?"

"Yes, your value is but a pebble against the mountains of good favor I have with the dark lord. But Kyon," Mikuru turned back to me, "tell her not to call me that."

"Yuki, address Mikuru by the name she goes by here, as if she were an ordinary schoolgirl."

"Yes, Kyon."

"And Yuki, tell that guy that he can still relay messages through you."

"Yes, Kyon."

I had done it. I had freed Yuki, and from a fate far worse than I had feared for her. Why did it make me feel like a sleazebag?

The next morning as I walked stiffly up the hill to school, I considered everything that happened that night to be just a dream, until Taniguchi caught up with me.

"What was all that last night in the schoolyard?"

"Look," I turned to him, "You know me. I can always make up some slightly plausible explanation for anything. Well today, I'm all out. So all I can suggest is that perhaps Haruhi snuck up from behind and breathed on you. You caught a whiff of whatever it is that she's on, and then you just hallucinated that scene in the schoolyard."

"It's that bad?"

"It's worse." On the way to classes I stopped for an instant to glance in the trashcan. Yuki's glasses were under some other trash, including the roll of duct tape. I left them there.


	4. Chapter 4

When school started on Tuesday morning I found Haruhi Suzumiya still subdued at her desk. She barely even acknowledged my greeting. The good times couldn't last of course.

"Kyon!" Haruhi shouted from the desk behind mine during the break after the first class, "Did you hear that? A great mystery has occurred!"

"What?" I turned in my seat. Perhaps if she saw me face to face, she'd turn down the volume. Not for my own doomed fate, but I do consider the nerves of the rest of the class. Some of them are my friends. Pity Haruhi doesn't seem to have the same problem.

"Ryoko Asakura, our class representative, has mysteriously transferred!"

"I thought you said that normal humans weren't interesting to you, but haven't most students transferred at least once in their lives?"

"Not like this! Not without warning! I'll go ask her friends." Haruhi stood and walked over to bother the other students.

Once again my best efforts had been in vain.

Haruhi grilled the students like bacon, and the result was that nobody reported having advance warning of Ryoko's move. Either Ryoko had planned on getting away with murder and staying in the class, or she didn't think enough of her so-called friends to let them know that she'd be moving on.

At lunch Haruhi set off to ask the school office about the missing student.

After she left, fellow SOS brigade member Itsuki Koizumi came to the door of our classroom and asked, "Kyon, would mind having lunch with me today?"

Eyebrows rose throughout the classroom as I replied, "Sure. Sounds like fun."

A group of girls gathered to follow us down to the courtyard and one of the girls even whispered to a couple sitting at one of the tables to make way for us, then asked us to switch seats please, before rejoining her crowd.

"Do you know what that's about?" Itsuki nodded towards the group of sketchbook wielding girls.

"It's the art club. I'm sure they'd appreciate it if you'd take off your shirt and jacket."

Itsuki turned back towards me. "And you make this request because?"

"I want to see if you're tattooed like a Yakuza."

"I'm afraid that my organization isn't anything like that." Itsuki raised his palm with his fingers curled towards the heavens.

The art club girls gave out a collective "Squee!", and one of them asked him to hold the pose as they all furiously scribbled.

"You have an organization also?" I asked him, "Let me guess. You've been forced into the service of some dread master and I'll need to ransom some fraction of my soul to free you?"

"No, it's nothing like that." Itsuki held his pose with no apparent effort. "Those of my kind who serve my master do so voluntarily and I feel very honored indeed to have been chosen for this mission."

"So why did you transfer to this school and join the club of a crazy girl?"

"Miss Asahina didn't bother us at all, but when Miss Nagato got so close to Miss Suzumiya it raised our hackles."

"The problem is solved then. Yuki now regards me to be her master, so that connection is severed."

"And that raises the question of you." Itsuki turned his eyes towards me, without moving his face. "We have checked your trail the best we can, and you've passed all the sniff tests. You are completely human. So what is your connection to the three girls, especially Yuki?"

"Since a Yuki-onna is much more likely to devour a man than serve him?"

"Yes, that."

"I don't know how I got into this mess, but this talk of eating reminds me that this is lunchtime, and that I should consider keeping my core body temperature up."

"Girls," Itsuki raised his voice without even moving his face much, "May I eat now?"

"Here!" Each art club girl held up her bento.

"Oh, but I already have a lunch." Itsuki opened his bento. There was tofu, aburage, and azukimeshi inside.

"What, no rice or meat?" I asked him.

"I'm on a vegetarian low-carb diet."

We all ate more or less together. Then I slipped away unnoticed, as each art club girl took the opportunity to personally thank Itsuki. And introduce herself of course.

I saw in passing that each girl had drawn a white fox in some sort of natural setting. I wondered if they had noticed this yet, or if they would be shocked when they discovered these masterpieces instead of the sketches they had thought they had made of a boy. The styles ranged from classical Japanese, to ancient Western, to modern abstract and postmodernist. But it was all great work. I doubted that we had so many geniuses at our humble school. They must have been truly inspired.

At the end of classes Haruhi ordered me, "Pack up, we're going!"

"Where?" I turned in my seat.

"Here! This is Ryoko's address," She slammed a hand written note with a familiar address, but a different room number, down on her desk. For a moment I was surprised that even the floors were different.

"Is that were she moved to?" I tried to keep a straight face, and fortunately Haruhi had too time for the likes of ordinary humans such as myself to notice.

"No, her old address. She moved to Canada. Can you believe that, Canada? Let's go check out her old place for clues."

"We know somebody who lives there."

"Who?"

"Follow me," I knew that if I just told her where we were going she would run there with my necktie or collar in tow, and I'd had enough of that. I even made her wait for me outside the boys' restroom. It wasn't that I was cruel, but rather that I still had some small faith in the concept of justice, even if I had to mete it out myself.

"The answer is in our own clubroom?" She walked in as I held the door open for her.

"Not yet." I saw that Mikuru and Yuki were already there, but I decided to keep Haruhi on ice for a bit longer. Perhaps it was in the forlorn hope that someday she would learn the virtue of patience.

When Itsuki arrived I asked Yuki to join us at the table, and indicated the seat across from me.

"Your note please," I asked Haruhi, then I slid it in front of Yuki, "Yuki, you knew Ryoko Asakura from what you call your hometown, correct?"

"Yes, Kyon." Yuki lowered her gaze to the note.

"So when you moved to this city, you asked her where you could stay, and she suggested you rent a room in her building, correct?"

"Yes, Kyon."

"Are you asking her this or telling her it?" Haruhi looked back and forth between Yuki and myself.

"I'm asking her to confirm it. I suspected the whole thing when I saw that the address matched what Yuki had written on her library card form. Now Yuki, please tell Haruhi what kind of human being your acquaintance Ryoko Asakura is."

"As you wish, Kyon."

"This is bullshit!" Haruhi jumped from her chair, "Yuki, I hereby promote you to chief researcher! That's a higher rank than Kyon's lackey status. You follow my orders here and not his."

Yuki just sat there, looking down on the table.

Haruhi walked around the table and knelt down by Yuki.

I tried to rise, but Mikuru grabbed my arm under the table.

Haruhi grabbed Yuki's hand. "Don't be afraid of Kyon just because he's a guy."

Yuki turned her face to Haruhi and even smiled a tiny bit. "I'm not afraid of Kyon."

"What happened to your glasses?" Haruhi stared at Yuki's bare face.

"She lost them and switched to her contacts."

"How do you know that?" Haruhi released Yuki, stood and turned towards me.

Yuki raised her hands to her chest, blushed and quietly sighed. She had fed again, so why hadn't Haruhi complained about the cold?

"Who did you think was looking after your precious brigade when you were sulking in the classroom?" I pointed at Haruhi.

"Okay fine, it's all my fault." Haruhi returned to her seat at the table, "But now I'm back on the job and we've got a mystery to solve."

"And the perfect way to solve it is for Yuki to contact her hometown tonight, and ask there about Ryoko." I turned back to Yuki, who nodded her confirmation of my order.

"So back to Brigade business. What can we do to get those contacts coming in?" Haruhi rose and walked to the computer desk. "Let's put Mikuru's breasts on our homepage."

"No! You can't!" Mikuru blushed and stammered artfully.

"If you going to embarrass somebody, embarrass yourself!" I rose and walked over to Haruhi's side.

"As brigade leader, I can't ask any member to do something I wouldn't do myself." Haruhi started pulling her blouse over her head, "Kyon, get the camera. My rack isn't as impressive as Mikuru's, but I guess it will have to do."

"Won't exposing yourself on the Internet shame your parents?" Itsuki asked, proving once and for all just how gay he was. Or more likely, he just wasn't into humans that way.

"So?" Haruhi had her blouse up high enough that her bra was showing.

"So they'll be forced to move and you'll be forced to transfer." I forced my eyes up to where Haruhi's face was hidden behind her blouse. "No more SOS Brigade." I wondered what sort of tragic event it would take to pound just a tiny bit of common sense into her thick skull.

"Very well." Haruhi pulled her blouse back down. "But what do we put on our webpage? The counter isn't even up to three digits yet."

"Well, put something other than a picture of a person on it." Maybe this would get her to finally write down her crazy theories. That should attract the attention of some 'interesting' people. But it shouldn't be a problem, so long as Mikuru kept her knife handy.

After the others left, it was just me sitting there, and Yuki reading by the window.

I studied her out of the corner of my eye. Ever since the incident in the schoolyard, she had become acutely aware of my attention and froze whenever I looked at her too directly. I stood up. "Let's go to your place."

"As you wish, Kyon." Yuki closed her book and stood.

On the way to her apartment, I remembered seeing something once. I turned down a different street. Yuki followed without comment, as always two steps behind me.

I held the store door open for Yuki and then she waited inside to follow me. That was getting a bit awkward, so I considered how I might order her to act more naturally as I walked to the back of the store. I pulled out the item I had remembered and showed it to her, "You like pictures of mountains, don't you? Let's put these posters up on your walls."

"Am I allowed to do that?" She reached her hand halfway towards the package, then dropped it to her side.

"We'll use sticky clay." I picked up a package of it. "That's always allowed."

At the checkout counter I noticed the price tag on the poster set, and turned to Yuki. "I'm sorry, but I don't have quite enough money on me today. I'll bring these by later."

"I have the money." Yuki pulled a roll of bills out of her pocket and placed it in front of the old man behind the counter.

The old man pulled off the correct amount, pushed the roll back with some change and then stopped to examine the bills he had taken. "Say."

"Is there some problem?" I asked him.

"It's just that some of these bills are more than thirty years old."

"Are they expired?"

"No, you just don't see them around very much anymore." the old man put the posters and the sticky clay in a paper bag.

"She gets her allowance from her grandmother in the mountains."

Yuki took the sack and stepped back.

"She's so pretty and refined," The old man said, "Someday you should make her yours."

"She already is."

Yuki blushed and turned away with head bowed.

The old man raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Yeah, another store I could never enter again. Someday I'd have to learn to turn off the snark.

Yuki made tea as I started putting up the posters around her living room. I noticed that her kotatsu had the picture book I had selected open, and two new books from the library next to it. She must have read and returned the other three already. Since one of those was checked out on my card, that only left her two slots. I guess I'd need to save up to buy her a copy of her favorite book. No point in showing her how to order books online, as she needed money for rent, if not for food. And that reminded me of something.

I set down across the kotatsu from Yuki.

She poured me a cup of tea, then she looked up around the room and said, "Thank you, Master Kyon! They're so beautiful."

"It's just Kyon and it was your money." I looked out through the glass on her patio doors and then back to her, "I'll get you some drapes with reproductions of mountain paintings so you can have some privacy in here. A curious thing happened today, Haruhi touched you and didn't complain about feeling cold."

"She shares her warmth with us all, and there is always more than enough for everybody."

Yet another riddle instead of a straight answer. And Yuki, who froze people with a touch, had ten times the human warmth of Haruhi. "Ryoko said that you could not control your hunger, is that correct?"

"Yes Kyon, your servant is defective."

"She said you had not yet learned how to do so. So you can learn this?"

"Yes, I should have by now."

"Okay, you must learn how to do so quickly or you will not be able to continue in your current situation. Do you understand?"

"Yes Maste- Kyon. I will try." she bowed her head almost down to the table top.

"Let me know when you are ready, and we can try holding hands. If that is okay with you?"

"Oh no, Kyon." She looked up blushing. "I don't deserve."

"None of us deserve our situation. We just have a responsibility to make the best of it."

"Yes, Kyon."

"Now let's go over what you will tell Haruhi about Ryoko tomorrow."

As I was having Yuki go through her spiel a second time, my phone rang.

It was my sister. "Kyon, I tried to cover for you, but Mom's getting suspicious. So kiss your boyfriend goodnight and get back here now."

"Thanks!" I hung up on her and rose. I really did need to review her reading material. At least she wasn't astute enough to figure out that I was keeping a mass murdering monster girl as a pet.

I looked around and asked, "Yuki, do you have a phone?"

"No, Kyon."

"Lets go after school tomorrow or the next day and get you one."

"Thank you, Kyon."

Wednesday afternoon in the clubroom, Haruhi listened to Yuki's carefully scripted explanation for Ryoko's transfer with a scowl.

"That sounds like a perfectly reasonable explanation to me," I offered.

"That's because you're an idiot, Kyon!" Haruhi slammed her fist down on the table, causing Mikuru to oh so carefully come close to, but not actually, spill any of the tea as she refilled Haruhi's cup.

Haruhi paid no attention to Mikuru's maid-suited performance. She just grabbed the cup of scalding hot tea and gulped half of it down. I had no clue how she managed to not injure herself with her complete lack of common sense.

Haruhi pointed at me with her cup. "Ryoko got the call to move over to her parents in Canada, and just barely had time to pack her bags before the plane left?"

"As she told Yuki later, it was a dying grandmother. That's not a situation where you can wait a few days." As I had come up with the scenario, I had it well memorized.

"And she had no time to call anybody on the way to the airport?"

"Who would she call in the middle of the night?"

"She was obviously abducted by aliens, time travelers or espers, and you're obviously covering for them. Kyon, you are behind all this."

"Me? This is Yuki's story."

"I've seen how she works for you, following your every order. What's your hold over her?"

"I helped her get a library card. It's the first kindness any human being has done for her. What have you ever done, but order her around yourself?"

Haruhi opened her mouth and closed it. She knew I had her and was trying to think of a way out. I was going to give it to her, in order to toss her off her too astute observations.

"Yuki," I turned to the shorter girl, "Do you even own any clothing other than North High School uniforms?"

"I have some kimonos."

"See," I turned back to Haruhi, "She's useless for undercover missions. The brigade is crippled because you're not thinking things through. All this time you've been dressing Mikuru up as a bunny or a maid for your amusement in the clubroom, and you haven't done one thing to improve our fieldwork."

"Brigade dismissed. Yuki, come with me." Haruhi grabbed Yuki's hand, who took one glance to see my nod, before she was dragged out of the clubroom.

A moment later I realized my deadly mistake and rose. "She's going to pop Yuki like a bubble!"

Mikuru grabbed my hand. "No she isn't."

"What, but I thought you said you had to be extra careful to avoid that, and careful just isn't in Haruhi's vocabulary."

"Even in her sleep, my queen truly wishes harm to none, not even a mass murdering demon. I am sure that she will push away any salesgirls, and dress Yuki with her own hands, as she does myself."

That sleep metaphor again. I thought about it for a moment then asked Mikuru, "Who exactly is Haruhi's brother?"

"Haruhi is an only child and a human being."

"So who is Yuki's former master?"

"Susanoo, lord of snowstorms and other storms."

"Sure, why not. I'm willing to accept anything at this point. And so where is Amaterasu?"

"She sleeps inside the soul of Haruhi."

"Go wake her up already. What are you waiting for?"

"No human can look on the true face of Amaterasu and live. My love has enough woes to weigh her down already, without tossing the death of a young girl on the pile." For just a moment the shadows of millennium of sorrows crossed Mikuru's face.

I took half a step back. "Even if I believe all of this. Why shouldn't I suspect that you are somehow aligned with the forces of darkness to keep the goddess of light incapacitated, my dear lady Ame-no-Uzume-no-mikoto? What's with all the secrets?"

Mikuru smiled at this and said, "We three non-humans could convince Miss Suzumiya in a few minutes of our own natures, and in another few minutes we could convince her of what we know to be true about herself. What do you think would happen then, once she knew of the powers at her fingertips? Is there anything we might tell her that would convince her to wait quietly until we have a way to safely depower her?"

"Hell no," I responded, "Haruhi would be running around shouting things like 'Let there be light'."

"Perhaps I might offer a way out of this." Itsuki returned to the table, after pouring himself a cup of tea. He knew full well that Mikuru's pretense of being our maid only extended to those times when Haruhi was present.

"Yes?" I turned to him.

"My cousin is getting married this Saturday. I will get you an invitation. Since this is a social event, there will be those of my kind of my organization, those that follow the lord of storms, and others. I will meet you in front of your house at seven that morning. Do bring a raincoat."

"I already looked up the long range forecast," I stood and grabbed my jacket, "It's going to be clear through the weekend."

"Oh, it will be both clear and rainy on Saturday morning." Itsuki made his usual irritating, closed eyes smile. "Come alone, as your slave is most certainly not welcome. But you can bring your sister, if you like."

I was halfway through the door before I turned and responded to him, "Don't threaten my family!" Then I closed the door and walked away.

-HJC


	5. Chapter 5

After dinner on Wednesday night, I was working on my homework in my room when I got a text message.

H_Suzumiya: Meet at Yuki's now!

Had there been an incident after all? I rushed for the door.

My sister jumped out of her room in her pajamas, "He must really be something to have you running like this, but what does he see in you?"

Her needling must have finally gotten to me because I turned and said, "I'm going to see two girls from my school."

"Don't lie Kyon! There isn't a school in the country that has two girls weird enough to date you."

I left without further comment.

Strangely enough at my school there are at least three who would qualify, perhaps even three and a half, depending on how you count them. All three and possibly a half were members, alongside myself, in the self-styled SOS Brigade. That they were all or at least mostly non-human and that I wasn't actually dating any of them were the only facts that failed to prove a counter-example to my sister's thesis. In addition to myself in the more-or-less male category was the shape-shifter who I'd never seen in any other shape than that of a boy of my own age. Perhaps the boy I knew was only possessed or just a very good actor?

I walked briskly to Yuki's apartment building and buzzed her number without response. I didn't even consider buzzing Ryoko Asakura's number. With any luck she was long gone and if she wasn't, then I didn't want to be alone with her chilling embrace.

"Kyon!"

I turned to the street. A stretched black limo had pulled up. Energetic SOS Brigade leader and apparently doomed deity carrier, Haruhi Suzumiya, had stepped out of the limo along with our resident cute monster girl, Yuki Nagato.

"Yes?" I walked over to the limo.

"Get our stuff out of the back!" Haruhi pointed towards the trunk that had opened to reveal a half dozen bags that were stuffed to overflowing with clothes.

I managed to get four of the bags, but Yuki rushed forwards to grab the other two. The brief glance I got at her bags was of underwear and swimwear. She was perfectly willing to undress for me, but was embarrassed by clothing she wasn't even wearing? I could never understand girls, human or otherwise.

The limo drove away as I carried the bags to the building entrance. I waited there for the girls to catch up, as they had held back to talk to somebody in the car.

Yuki had her back to Haruhi as she slowly typed in her access code for the door. Her typing speed on the computer had gotten much faster than that, so she was obviously showing me the combination. I suspected that she'd soon drop a spare key for her apartment door in my pocket.

I pondered if this was more her way of welcoming my company any time I had time for her, or if it was simply that she considered herself to be my property, and therefore that I should have access to herself and her quarters at any time. And that she had no rights to refuse me anything that she had to offer.

I put down the bags in the elevator and asked Haruhi, "So how did you two afford all this?" And would Yuki be able to make rent?

"Oh, we didn't buy this."

More banditry Haruhi?

"When we were walking to the clothing store, this famous fashion designer spotted us, and she said that Yuki was the perfect model for her new line of clothes."

So Yuki's waifish inhuman looks might just kill more young girls from body image disorders than her chilling touch had killed men. I still didn't regret having her life spared. In spite of being possibly the least human member of our so-called brigade, she was also the most human, least pretentious and the most innocent.

"We've got to try all these on her before we go back Saturday, when she'll have an all-day photo shoot."

"So no Brigade search on Saturday?" I wondered which of the factions gathered around Haruhi had intervened to separate me from the two girls on that day.

"This is more important! Once Yuki's famous, we'll only need to mention that she's a member on our webpage to get the hits in! Also brigade meetings are canceled for the rest of the week so I can help her get ready. Just leave the bags here by the door and you can go back home." Haruhi rushed past Yuki once the apartment door was opened.

I felt a chill at my side, then Yuki stepped back and showed another key that she put back in her own pocket.

"So much space!" Haruhi looked around Yuki's living room, "And all you have is a kotatsu in here? Yuki, let's make this the off-site brigade meeting room!"

Yuki looked at me and I just shrugged, so she turned to Haruhi and said, "Company would be nice."

"Great! I was seriously running out of space in the clubroom," Haruhi ran to a control on the wall, "You've got heating and air conditioning too? It gets brutal during the summers and winters here, except for the past few years."

I hadn't noticed particularly gentle weather lately, "The brigade will of course pay any extra charges for her utilities?"

"What are you still doing here, Kyon? I've got to start dressing Yuki."

"There are no drapes on the patio doors, which are all glass."

"So?"

"So, what if some freak in those buildings has a camera with a powerful lens?"

"Easy enough to fix!" Haruhi started peeling the landscape posters off the walls and pasting them sideways against the patio doors.

Yuki looked at me, but I just shrugged and left.

During classes on Thursday, Haruhi sketched out outfit combinations on a slim Yuki-style frame, then went around the room between classes to badger the other girls about their opinions. Some of the teachers tried to trip Haruhi up with questions, but she handled them all and went right back to sketching. The class seemed to almost enjoy the diversion as we all missed Ryoko's sympathetic touch, even though she really was an ice cold killer.

I admitted that my male ego was pleased at seeing the overbearing Haruhi cast in a more feminine role. My only regret was that instead of the (inwardly at least) willing Mikuru, Haruhi's attentions were focused on Yuki, who could not resist without my agreement.

Friday was more of the same. I worried that I had betrayed Yuki by not going with her to pick out a phone, but as long as Haruhi was stuck to her like a barnacle, she wouldn't miss a call.

I was doing homework in my room on Friday night (I had no idea what strange adventures Itsuki would drag me into over the weekend, and I so I thought it best to be prepared), when my sister came into my room, as usual, and most unusually closed my door behind her.

"It hurts, doesn't it?"

"What?" I looked over at her.

"The way your boyfriend dumped you."

"I don't have a boyfriend."

"It's that bad? Don't worry Kyon, the best guys are always married or gay so that should help your chances." She turned and opened the door. "Mom! Kyon's heartbroken, so let's do something special for him on Saturday."

"Forget it squirt, I've got school activities on Saturday."

"Oh? 'Activities'? That's great Kyon," She ran up and hugged me. "Have fun!"

After she left, I mentally went over the Haruhi checklist with respect to my sister, energetic, assertive, imaginative, insane, delusional, oblivious, possessed by a foreign spirit that would destroy her? Well, I hoped that last one wasn't true.

I set my alarm for six a.m., and by seven on Saturday I was waiting out on our porch as a taxi pulled up. As promised it was both raining and clear. A traditional wedding then? I thought as I prepared to walk over to the taxi.

My sister ran out the door in her pajamas, in the rain, and tapped at Itsuki's window.

He rolled the window down, "Hi there. So you must be Kyon's sister?"

"Nice to meet you sir." She bowed to him. "I know that my dumb brother isn't much of a boyfriend, but please look after him. He's got terrible taste in girls."

"Go inside now." I grabbed her shoulders and turned her towards the door. "And dry off before you catch something." Like say kitsunetsuki.

She ran to the porch and waved back. "Have fun!"

"Be seeing you." Itsuki rolled his window up.

I got in the other side. "Don't encourage her."

"She seems to be a charming young lady."

I thought of how to change the topic away from my family. I nodded to the taxi driver man and said to Itsuki, "May I speak freely?"

"Of course, you're among friends."

"When did your pack become interested in our Miss Suzumiya?"

"Yes, let me see how to explain the concept to you. Do you know about the Sistine Chapel?"

"The place with the painting of Adam and God reaching out to each other?"

"Yes, that exactly. Three years ago, in her first year of middle school, Haruhi Suzumiya made an offering of herself on Tanabata. At the exact same moment Amaterasu was reaching out for comfort. We felt the reaction all over the world, but we are still unable to figure out where Haruhi found that formula."

"So somebody pushed her into this?" Yeah Haruhi is easy enough to lead around by her nose, I thought. She's another pawn in the same game I'm in, only she's playing blindfolded.

"Nobody has admitted to it yet, but we doubt that Amaterasu would have willingly endangered a human being in such a way."

"So are all you foxes of the opinion, that we should let sleeping goddesses lie?"

"My lord Inari Okami has said that we should only observe the situation for now, but at the wedding you will have a chance to meet other factions."

"So what's the big problem then? If Haruhi can manage to keep willfully blind of her own condition, then why should anybody else care?"

"Human scientists have yet to discover that the activity level of the Sun is diminishing. If this extends for a full human lifetime then we might encounter another mini-ice age, or worse."

"So much for global warming." I looked out the window and saw that we were leaving the city. Then I turned back to Itsuki, and I said with far too much snark, "And we can't toss Haruhi in front of a bus or train because?"

"When the goddess is upset she tends to behave erratically."

"So it's freeze or fry? What exactly do you intend to do about it?"

"I suspect that something is in the works, but at a much higher level than my own."

"Humor me just once and show me your true form."

"As you wish." Itsuki was instantly replaced in his seat by a white fox, of the kind seen in the arctic. "This is all real. You may pet my fur if you like."

"There's enough whispers linking us at school and now you've started my sister on it. Just one thing bothers me. Where are your clothes?"

"I don't wear any."

"Too much information, but no wonder your tie seems to be always exactly in place." I turned to the window and we rode in silence after that.

I pondered what the foxes had said on the return from the wedding until my phone beeped. We must have just reentered the coverage area, I thought as I pulled it out of my pocket. I selected the text message that had been sent from Haruhi's phone a half hour previously.

H_Suzumiya: Please come to the apartment - Nagato.

I turned to Itsuki and said, "Drop me off at Yuki's, please," and then I looked down to study the message again. I could be very sure indeed that Haruhi had not sent this herself. She would never bother to type in complete words and even with spell-check features of modern phones, this was a bit much. To top it off the message was a request instead of an order.

So the most likely sender was Yuki herself. Even if Ryoko Asakura had captured the two girls and sent this message as a trap, I would still have to go there.

But there were other signs that pointed directly at Yuki. She had written 'the apartment', because she truly believed that she owned nothing, not even her own body. Everything was mine, but she could not call it my apartment because I didn't live there. It would have been somewhat frightening if she had written 'our apartment', in the hopes that I would move in so she could provide live-in maid service.

I could just imagine the response if I said, "Mom, I got married over the weekend and I'm moving in with my new bride." My sister would of course respond with, "Don't lie Kyon. No woman would ever marry you."

The taxi stopped and I looked up. We had arrived at Yuki's apartment building. I got out and then turned back to Itsuki. "Thanks for the ride."

"No, thank you for your time. Just be careful in there."

"As if your pack doesn't have the place under constant surveillance. Someday I'll be rich enough to afford a house with a yard so I can keep a dog in it." I shut the taxi door then walked to the building entrance. I considered using Yuki's entry code, but instead I just punched in her room number and said, "Hi, I'm here."

There was no reply, but the building door opened. My estimate of this being a trap jumped up a notch, not that the response was at all unlike Yuki. At her apartment door I left my keyring with her key in my pocket and rang the bell.

The door opened and Yuki was standing there. She nodded over to where Haruhi was sitting with arms crossed, looking down at papers spread over Yuki's kotatsu.

"That stupid, stupid," Haruhi muttered then looked up at me. She ran over and grabbed me, while I was changing from my shoes to the pair of slippers in my size that Yuki had added recently.

I almost lost my balance, so I pushed Haruhi away and asked her, "What is it?"

"Oh, why can't she see my genius?" She grabbed me even tighter.

"Creative differences?" I stood there with Haruhi's head resting against my left shoulder, and looked up.

Yuki was sitting at her kotatsu with hands in her lap and head bowed. She wasn't even reading a book. She must have been really upset. It was with me. Not only had I handed her over to Haruhi to use as a toy and invade Yuki's only privacy for the past few days, but at that very moment I was allowing Haruhi free use of the only comfort that Yuki was herself denied.

I grabbed Haruhi's shoulders, pushed her back to arm's length, and asked, "So now what? Back to hunting for extraterrestrials?"

Haruhi seemed confused for a moment. Then she stepped back out of my grasp and composed herself, "Well yes, eventually. But first I must crush the fools who run the fashion world, make my own name in the field, and use that notoriety to attract clients for the SOS Brigade."

As I followed her logic, I saw that as usual it consisted of the most improbable leaps and bounds, all powered by her own bravado. So I asked the obvious question, "And how exactly will you start on this?"

"At the cultural festival!"

"What?"

"We'll have a fashion show at the school's cultural festival!" Haruhi dashed back to the kotatsu, picked up her phone and dialed. "Hi Mikuru, can you get a hold of Tsuruya today? Drag her over to Yuki's place and bring some food. I'm starving and Yuki has nothing to eat here."

The scenario was now clear to me. Haruhi had pulled out her phone some time back, and had either made a call with an unfortunate ending or had chickened out of calling. Yuki had picked up the phone, while Haruhi had been self-absorbed, and had sent me a text message instead of speaking up and thereby alerting Haruhi to the connection.

My role in the drama had been as usual, just a stepping stone for Haruhi's flights of fancy. I had played my part, and now needed to depart before Haruhi remembered that she should have some questions for me, such as where I had been this morning.

I put my shoes back on and turned back at the door. Haruhi was looking over her sketch pages and making notes on them, while Yuki sat and looked at me.

I mouthed "Please" and bowed to Yuki. She nodded back to me and pulled out a book. I wondered if Haruhi even heard me close the door behind me as I left.


	6. Chapter 6

On Monday morning between classes, I made an attempt to reclaim the monster girl who claimed to be my property. I turned in my school chair and asked Haruhi Suzumiya, "Why not Mikuru?"

"What?" Haruhi didn't look up from the fashion sketch she was drawing.

"You are no longer working for that fashion designer who liked Yuki, so why not use Mikuru, who is far more expressive?"

"She squirms too much. I'll get to her, Itsuki, and myself later, but first I want to get Yuki's look perfect."

I was more relieved than insulted to be left out of a parade of non-humans, dressed in styles that Haruhi would consider interesting. But I was still annoyed at the imposition on Yuki, a young girl who seemed to have suffered enough over the past five decades. I knew it was absurd to put a non-human murderer, with supernatural powers, who was older than my parents, in the same dependent category as my grade-school little sister, but I was putting up with a lot of absurd things lately. Even Haruhi's conceit, that the people of Japan should worship her, was fairly well justified. For a moment the image of Itsuki hypnotizing Haruhi into pretending to dress him as she put her hands all over his naked body popped into my head. That was like the sixth impossible thing I'd imagined this morning, and it was just after breakfast. I struck back to try to clear it out of my head. "Why is Yuki so important?"

"It's not like I want to take away your plaything." Haruhi looked up from her sketch. "Just because she's a sweet innocent girl, who does everything you ask her to, has nothing to do with it. It's her look. It's so unique, like she doesn't even belong with the rest of humanity. Have you seen her in a kimono? She has the look of a Japanese doll. And the way she moves, like a cross between an ice princess who cares about nothing and a hurt little sister. I need to add just a hint of color and design to that, without making her as gaudy as a Christmas tree. Your suggestion that she change from glasses to contact lenses really opened the possibilities for those big eyes on that small body. The only problem is that she's still a little shy, so I may need you to order her to model the sleepwear and lingerie I'm designing."

"I refuse."

"So you do admit that you have some sort of hold over her! Well, I'm going to find out what that is, and then Yuki will be all mine." Haruhi rolled her pencil between her palms for a moment and then returned to sketching as the next class started.

At lunchtime Haruhi grabbed her lunch and sketchbook then dashed out of the classroom. I took mine and went to the clubroom.

Yuki was as always, sitting in the corner by the window and reading a book. Using the natural light allowed her to keep the room lights off, and by sitting in a corner far from the door, she had plenty of warning to avoid contact with those few people who might stumble over an unused and unlit clubroom. Now that she had free access to the public library instead of just the discards from the old Literature Club, she was showing her own preferences, and had taken to reading science fiction novels. An odd, but perhaps predictable, choice for a servant and perhaps creation of a dark god. She had the chance to revel in bright futures and for just a while forget about her dark past. Until Haruhi Suzumiya spotted the available resource and stormed in to usurp Yuki's temporary paradise, of course.

I walked up to where Yuki sat and bowed to her, "I apologize for throwing you under the Haruhi express train like that. She was getting too close to the truth, so I panicked and switched the tracks in front of her."

I heard her standing up, but I remained bowed. I felt her lips against my cheek and then a moment of intense cold.

"Ow!" I stood and put my hand to my numb face.

"I'm sorry," Yuki was bowing, "I'll get you some tea to warm up."

"What was that about?" I sat at the table and rubbed my face.

"I tried to show my thanks, but even though it's been my first weekend when I haven't even thought about hunger, I still can't control my appetite."

"So, you're not upset about Haruhi?"

"At last I'm useful. You, Master, I mean my former master, everybody, you've been working so hard while I was just sitting here. I honestly thought I'd that I could just sit here and watch for my first mission while big sister Ryoko did all the work."

"Any sign of her lately?"

"No, I haven't seen her anywhere."

"As for being busy, I've been sitting this one out. Dressmaking isn't a skill of mine and I don't know what to do about the overall problem."

"As for that, Lord Susanoo has a message for you. Things will be in alignment next month."

"July? At least that's a timeframe," I sat and watched Yuki make tea, "Something's been bugging me though. You can't touch me without freezing me, but you don't freeze solid much smaller objects like cups of tea?"

"It's not what your human scientists call cold, at least most of it isn't."

I waited for Yuki to set down the teapot to brew and then asked her, "Why did you kill people?"

"Lord Susanoo has commanded that we leave no witnesses. Also the vast majority of a human's lifeforce is extracted at the moment of their death."

"So the reason that you hunt in the winter and live in the mountains?"

"It makes us less noticeable, and our prey more vulnerable."

"That was a thin disguise to change the spelling of Yuki from Snow to Hope."

"My name has always been spelled Hope. Lord Susanoo said I was his great hope and I never saw how, until you did more than save my life, you gave me hope to live on."

"I'll try to not undermine that hope. And as for that, you do not have to let Haruhi parade you around in anything too embarrassing."

"Thank you. I don't have much, uh, 'body hair', but it matches," Yuki blushed as she put an empty teacup next to my bento.

I knew I pushing her to the point of embarrassment, but at least we were alone. "What's with that haircolor?"

Yuki reached up to touch a lock of the short blueish gray hair on her head, "The older a sister of mine gets, the darker and longer her hair is. Ryoko's hair is a much deeper blue and my oldest sisters have long black hair. It's a good thing some human girls dye their hair, or we wouldn't be able to infiltrate a high school."

"Why didn't you dye your own hair?"

"The dyes you use don't work very well for us," Yuki filled my teacup, "Some of it is physical cold."

"Ah ha!" Haruhi threw open the door, "Isn't this a comfortable scene."

Yuki froze in place.

I turned to face Haruhi, "Yuki was making some tea and asked if I wanted some. That's all."

"Well Kyon, I'm afraid I'm going to have to borrow your girlfriend for a while."

"I don't even hold hands with Yuki and the only girl I've walked arm in arm with this year is you."

"And as usual, you don't answer the real question at all, Kyon."

When had Haruhi asked a question? I saw that Yuki had put down the teapot and had turned towards Haruhi.

"Come on Yuki," Haruhi grabbed her hand, "Everybody's waiting," Haruhi pulled Yuki to the door then turned back for a moment, "And Kyon, you player, make yourself useful and bookmark some fashion sites."

"What do I know about fashion?" I asked.

"Yes, good point. Look up a cheap, but good, Internet connection for Yuki's place."

Yuki barely had time to close the door behind them before being dragged away.

I moved my lunch over to the computer and started the search Haruhi had requested.

A few minutes later there was a knock on the door and I responded with, "Come in, we're all decent."

"Well I should hope so," The girl who opened the door wore a sophomore uniform for our school and had green eyes and medium blue hair that extended past her shoulders, "Is this the SOS Brigade?"

"Wow, an actual customer." I walked over to greet her, "They call me Kyon around here."

She reached out her hand to grasp mine. Her hand was warm, then painfully cold, and then warm again. "They call me Emiri Kimidori. I trust that we understand each other, Mr. Kyon?"

"It's just Kyon." I rubbed my right hand with my left then slid a chair out for her. "What can we do for you Miss Kimidori? Find a man for you?"

"Oh, I can find my own, thanks." She sat in the offered chair.

"Can I offer you some tea?" I backed away to the teapot. "I'm afraid we haven't any snacks."

"Tea would be fine."

I poured her a cup then sat on the other side of the table from her. "So what brings you here, Miss Kimidori?"

"My sister seems so much happier than before."

"Yes?"

"Well about that, my Master has a message for you."

"Yuki already told me that something would be happening next month."

"This is a message that my Master thought best to convey through somebody other than my sister, to ensure that you understood it properly. She shall be yours as a gift and the dark powers shall be warned away from you, should you complete the mission ahead of you."

"And if I fail?"

"Pray that you do not survive your failure."

"Anything else?"

"Just keep your schedule open next month."

"But my sister was so looking forwards to visiting the beach."

"There will be a trip of sorts involved. You can bring her along with you, if you think that's best."

"Somehow I think not."

"Just so long as we understand each other." she put her hand on mine for a moment and it remained warm. "Well I must be going now, but if you make my sister unhappy then I might take it personally."

I sat and watched as Miss Kimidori walked to the door, but just before she got to it, I asked, "You have many sisters. What makes this personal?"

"The look in her eyes, I've seen it in the mirror." Emiri turned towards me and with an ancient bittersweet smile continued, "The Americans killed him when they took Iwo Jima."

"I'm sorry."

"Please don't be. He gave his all for what he believed in. When you are gone, I will be there for my sister. Do you have a message I might convey to her at that time?"

"Not yet."

"Well, until another time then."

the door opened behind her.

"Oh, Miss Kimidori?" It was Mikuru. "Fancy meeting you here."

"Miss Asahina, my apologies. It seems I wandered into the wrong room by chance."

"Oh, you should be more careful."

Emiri seemed to almost frown at this and then walked around Mikuru to get to the door, "Well, I must be going. Thanks for your help, Kyon."

After she left I asked Mikuru, "Is everybody at this school a spirit or monster?

"Don't you feel human, Kyon?"

"Do you know where Haruhi dragged Yuki off to this time?"

"I followed Miss Kimidori from the Fashion Club. She seemed to notice which members of Haruhi's brigade where there and then left suddenly." Mikuru sat at the table, took one sniff of the half full teacup that Emiri had left and then drank it down.

"And are you not required there to move things along?"

"Just as I am not your muse, the weaver of the clothes of the god is the muse for all those who have the true passion for fashion. The humans in that club did not even notice when the other two of us left."

"But how can you leave Yuki there when those girls are going to want to dress her?"

"Amaterasu has skillfully woven Haruhi's irritation towards your relationship with the other girl into a fierce possessiveness over Yuki. Only another toy of hers, such as myself, is allowed to touch her plaything."

"How many times have you done this?"

"Only dozens." Mikuru held up her empty teacup. "It's a very rare occurrence. Don't worry, we should have it resolved next month."

"On Tanabata?" I went to pick up the teapot.

"No, later in the month."

"Then it has to be the eclipse, but the total eclipse is south of here," I refilled her cup.

"The foxes will be moving her to this event. Do tag along please."

As Mikuru predicted, Haruhi easily won over the girls (and two boys) of the Fashion Club. I didn't see Haruhi much after that, except for her constant sketching in class behind me and a few errands I ran for her to gather materials from sponsors. I also helped setup the second-hand PC she found for Yuki's place. (I didn't ask where it had vanished from, of course.)

On Tuesday, July 7th we had a now-rare meeting of the SOS Brigade to write down our Tanabata wishes. Haruhi explained how these would be granted 16 and 25 years in the future. For her first wish she wrote that she wanted the Earth to revolve around her, and for the second she wanted the Earth to revolve the other way.

I took those for subconscious messages that she on some level understood her situation and wanted out. I wished for lots of money, and a house with a big yard for a dog. I made sure Itsuki saw that one. Haruhi wasn't the only one who wanted out of all this.

Without the daily runaround my grades improved a little bit, but I noticed that Haruhi kept near the top on the final rankings.

Finally on Friday the 17th after the semester closing ceremonies, we all gathered for the intervention. We found Haruhi slumped over a sewing machine in the Fashion Club room. Mikuru shook her.

"What?" Haruhi looked up at us, "Is it school closing hour already?"

"You're going to burn out." I said and almost winced at my choice of words.

"No, no. It was a power nap. I'm ready to go now. Yuki, help me get everything and we'll work at your house."

"No." I put my hand on Haruhi's shoulder. "Go home and rest this weekend and we'll take a vacation next week. You can go back to work on your designs the next week after."

"I've got no time for a vacation!"

"That's a pity," Itsuki said, "My cousin had a sudden family emergency and asked if I could take my gang to the southern island he had rented for the eclipse viewing, in his place."

"An entire island?"

"Right in the middle of the eclipse path."

"Well Mr. Koizumi, you have just earned your promotion to deputy brigade leader!"

The plan turned out to be simplicity itself. On the morning of the 22nd, we set out from the lodge on the island to the best viewing spot, with lots of spicy snacks and we 'accidentally' brought sake instead of tea or water. We had Haruhi passed out in less than an hour and as the time for the eclipse approched we put welding goggles on her and ourselves. As we clapped and sang, Mikuru danced naked. I looked the other way.

At the moment of the eclipse there was a brilliant flash and it felt like I was getting sunburned all over.

Mikuru stayed with Haruhi in her room for the rest of the day while she was passed out, and the next day Haruhi was violently ill, only joining us at dinner. She pledged to never touch alcohol for the rest of her life. On the boat trips back the next day she still seemed a little green, but didn't hurl.

That Saturday I walked over to Yuki's apartment at noon. I rang her number and said, "Hi, may I come up?"

"What are you doing here?" Haruhi responded, "Well as long as you're here you might as well go get lunch for everybody. Come up so you can write down the orders."

Mikuru let me in the apartment door, and I froze at what I saw.

Haruhi was holding a piece of fabric against Yuki's body and adjusting the angle to see how it looked. She looked over her shoulder at me and said, "I've written down the orders. It's on the table."

I removed my shoes and walked over, "Isn't this a bit much for me to carry all by myself? It's like lunch and dinner for all four of you."

"You're always such a whiner, Kyon." Haruhi put down the fabric and made some notes. "Okay, I'll go with you also. I've been stuck in here all day. Just let me freshen up." She walked around the many items she had brought to Yuki's place as she made her way to the bathroom.

I waited for Haruhi to close the door behind herself then turned to Mikuru. "How did she do that? I thought we cured her!"

"She is cured." The goddess inside Mikuru replied. "Our queen has returned to the heavens. But, just as I shall soon leave only a tiny fraction of myself behind in Mikuru, Haruhi still has a connection, that Amaterasu may choose to use later. Now Kyon, last chance. Are you sure you don't want to try this?" She indicated the body she wore.

"Mistress!"

"Just kidding, Yuki." Uzume moved Mikuru's hand to play with the hair of the snow monster.

"And what's your story Itsuki?" I asked our resident fox, "Why are you still here?"

"There remains the matter of who it was that set Haruhi onto this in the first place and Haruhi herself is our only lead." He turned as the bathroom door opened.

"Okay you three." Haruhi said as she returned. "You've still got a lot of things to try on and I want to know what needs adjustment when we get back. Now come on Kyon, enough idling around!"

At lunch that day I started to get to know Haruhi better. We developed a reasonable relationship. With her and Yuki's constant help I just barely managed to get into the same college as the two of them. We had our wedding right after our college graduation. When Haruhi invited Yuki along on the honeymoon, I assumed that it would be entirely a business trip. I could not have been more wrong.

"Uh, am I interrupting something?"

"Kyon, get in here and close the door."

I knew better than to refuse Haruhi's orders, so I complied. "But, uh this?"

"Yuki's told me that she was born sterile. Does that sound fair to you?"

"Uh?" I had wondered exactly how all that worked with the yuki-onnas.

"Of course not. So I've told her it's only fair that she share in everything about our family. Don't you see that's the only way she can have a family of her own? So Kyon, take off your clothes and join us in bed."

By this point Yuki had managed to learn to control her appetite so this was safe. The pattern we set that night (and continued for many decades after) was that Haruhi would pull out a box of toys to use on Yuki, while using myself for her own pleasure. Afterwards we would snuggle together on either side of Haruhi. That was the safest way of doing things, because Yuki had the least control of her powers in her sleep.

We kept on the move to follow the fashion industry around the world, so I never did get the yard, or the dog. Haruhi kept the Suzumiya name herself, but insisted the kids have my name. Her reasoning was by having the name of a nobody, they wouldn't be caught in the undertow of fame. Of the three of us, the kids seemed to always favor 'Aunt Yuki' the most. And that was okay, just so long as she didn't look at them too hungrily.

-HJC


End file.
